In my mind is a picture of a graceful, calm, pulled together, Godly woman who acts in love and reacts according to true Christian character. I call it, "the me I want to be."
Unfortunately, the me I want to be does not always resemble the woman I actually am. Okay, you got me, it rarely does.
The real me is an irrational, emotional loud-mouth with control issues, who speaks out of turn, says the wrong things and blows a fuse every now and then, especially when things don't go as planned. See what I mean? That's a far cry from the picture-perfect, Christian princess I mentioned above.
It just so happens, that yesterday was a fuse-blowing day of epic proportions. After flipping my lid in 8th period, I had the afternoon to think about what happened and to analyze my reactions, which I did.
I prayed.
I asked God to help me know what I should've done or could've done differently.
I cried.
I got a pedicure.
And at the end of it all, I came to two conclusions that I know to be true.
Conclusion #1: I messed up and I owe my students an apology. But without a doubt, I WILL have many more chances to react with grace and Christian love. Every day we face situations that challenge us. Every day we have an audience of believers and non-believers alike that watch to see how we will handle those challenges. I didn't pass yesterday's test, but I know that I'll be given another chance.
Conclusion #2: God can and does use this irrational, emotional loud-mouth with control issues. He uses me in spite of me. He uses me hang-ups and all. In fact, it's through those weaknesses that He reveals His strength. God has a history of using rebels, rejects and loud-mouths to do great things for the Kingdom, so I know and find comfort in the fact that He can use me too.
I wanted to blog this experience not only because of the therepeutic benefits, but because I know that I am not alone. Whatever discrepencies you find between the real you and the one you want to be, rest assured that God loves you and wants to use you in a big way, flaws and all!
Unfortunately, the me I want to be does not always resemble the woman I actually am. Okay, you got me, it rarely does.
The real me is an irrational, emotional loud-mouth with control issues, who speaks out of turn, says the wrong things and blows a fuse every now and then, especially when things don't go as planned. See what I mean? That's a far cry from the picture-perfect, Christian princess I mentioned above.
It just so happens, that yesterday was a fuse-blowing day of epic proportions. After flipping my lid in 8th period, I had the afternoon to think about what happened and to analyze my reactions, which I did.
I prayed.
I asked God to help me know what I should've done or could've done differently.
I cried.
I got a pedicure.
And at the end of it all, I came to two conclusions that I know to be true.
Conclusion #1: I messed up and I owe my students an apology. But without a doubt, I WILL have many more chances to react with grace and Christian love. Every day we face situations that challenge us. Every day we have an audience of believers and non-believers alike that watch to see how we will handle those challenges. I didn't pass yesterday's test, but I know that I'll be given another chance.
Conclusion #2: God can and does use this irrational, emotional loud-mouth with control issues. He uses me in spite of me. He uses me hang-ups and all. In fact, it's through those weaknesses that He reveals His strength. God has a history of using rebels, rejects and loud-mouths to do great things for the Kingdom, so I know and find comfort in the fact that He can use me too.
I wanted to blog this experience not only because of the therepeutic benefits, but because I know that I am not alone. Whatever discrepencies you find between the real you and the one you want to be, rest assured that God loves you and wants to use you in a big way, flaws and all!
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