Faithfulness

I love it when God really tries to get your attention with a certain point.  You begin to notice it in a sermon, then a song, then a blog you read or a friend brings it up in conversation.  That’s what the Lord has been doing with me concerning this idea of faithfulness.

First my pastor spoke about it at church on Sunday.  Knowing it’s a struggle of mine, I began to dwell on it.  One thing that really got me was when he said, “The Christian Life isn’t always exciting; it isn’t always fire. It’s faithfulness.”  Man, was that exactly what I needed to hear.  I’m one of the worst offenders when it comes to being dissatisfied with the daily routines of life; particularly the Christian life.  I want my existence to be one continuous mountaintop moment even though I know that isn’t possible.  I struggle with remaining faithful when there seems to be no “peaks” in sight.

The next reminder came in the form of a quote I found while perusing the internet.  Mother Teresa once said, “I don’t pray for success, I ask for faithfulness.”  I read this and began to think about her life.  She was the antithesis of worldly success but the epitome of faithfulness.  I could learn a thing or two or twenty from her servant’s heart.  She grasped the concept that serving God is a life sentence.  It’s not a matter of how we feel that day or who we’re serving or what we may get in return.  It is simply obedience to God’s call…every single moment of every single day. 

Faithfulness is defined as “steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant.”  I struggle to be constant in my affection to God.  I’m easily led astray by even the smallest of trials.  To this end, I would like to cite a familiar passage from the book of Hebrews.  I came upon this a few weeks ago and even though I know I’ve read it many times before, there was suddenly a new freshness to it – so much so that I began to cry out, “God , let that be me!”  Verses 32-38 of chapter 11 say,

                “32And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, 33who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, 34quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. 35Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. 36Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. 37They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— 38the world was not worthy of them.”

                How I long for THAT kind of faithfulness!

I Pity the Fool!

Remember those silly jokes you used to get on Laffy Taffy wrappers?  Here are a few examples I found online:

Why do bees have sticky hair? — they use honeycombs
What kind of trees sew? — pine trees, they always have needles around
Why did the little cookie (biscuit) cry? — because his mother was a wafer so long.

As soon as you're finished guffawing, I have one more for you that I made up myself.

What kind of party doesn't require invitations? - A pity party!

*Cue drum, cymbals and canned laughter*

Since I've been throwing one for myself for the last week and a half, I figured the infamous pity party was a fitting topic for today's blog.  As most of you probably know, pity parties are a funny thing.  You start out feeling sorry for yourself over one thing but before you know it, everything in your life is falling apart and it all deserves its own pint of Ben and Jerry's.  Take me, for example.  I started lamenting over my lack of a significant other but by the time the week had ended I was a poor, fat, slob with no friends and no future.  I know it sounds silly but I'm also willing to bet that most of you, even if you don't want to admit it, can completely identify!

As I was on my way to work today, I started thinking about this strange phenomenon.  Why do we get so "poor, pitiful me" in the first place?  (And why on earth do they call them parties?)  And how do we combat them? Get out of them? Prevent them from happening in the first place?  I can't say that I have ALL the answers, but I can say one thing for sure.  As with many of my other struggles in life, pity parties have selfishness at their very core.  Think about it.  What's the typical dialogue (or monologue, really) at a pity party?  "Why ME?" "Could MY life get any worse?"  "I don't understand why everyone else seems to be so happy but I just can't catch a break!" 

That's not to say that my concerns aren't legitimate, but you have to admit, they are very self-focused.  Sure, I long for a fulfilling relationship with the opposite sex, but I'm not the first or only person in the world to struggle this way.  And sure, finances can get the best of me sometimes, but one look at the poverty most of the world is in and anyone can see that I'm living large by comparison.  As hard as it seems to do, if I could just shift my focus from ME to others (or better yet, from me to GOD), I think the pity party would lose much of its steam, if not die out all together.

As I continued to ponder this throughout the day, I came up with an interesting comparison.  I recently read the literary sensation, The Hunger Games.  If you're not familiar with the story, I'll quickly fill you in.  The action takes place in a futuristic land known as Panem.  After an uprising, the Capitol institutes The Hunger Games to remind the people of their rebellion and attempt to squash any future revolts.  Each year the children of the 12 Districts of Panem must participate in a "reaping" in which one boy and one girl from each district is chosen to participate and fight to the death until one remains and is crowned the victor.  For the people in most of the districts, life is a struggle and the reaping only adds to their plight.  For the citizens of the Capitol, however, life is a series of decadent soirees, cosmetic improvements and tuning into their favorite reality show, The Hunger Games.

Now that you have the background, allow me to make my point.  In the book, Katniss (who has just volunteered for the games to save her younger sister from certain death) meets the people of the Capitol and is immediately struck by their frivolous behavior and shallow way of life.  While many of the people in her district are struggling just to put food on the table, those in the Capitol have more than they know what to do with.  These self-absorbed men and women consider wrinkles and unkempt eyebrows a tragedy.  They watch the games in earnest but become bored if a day or two passes and no one dies.  Most of us recognize that the characters who truly deserve pity are those fighting for their next breath but a closer look at our own lives would likely reveal traits on par with the citizens of the Capitol.

If I were to sit here and list all of my blessings and privileges, I could certainly fill volumes, so how is it that I even begin to feel sorry for myself?  Again, it goes back to focus.  Is my focus on me?  Is my focus on what I don't have instead of all that I do?  Or, is my focus where it belongs as a Christian - on Christ?

The next time you or I find ourselves planning a pity party, we need to sing this simple song as a reminder of where our focus and energy should be directed:

               Turn your eyes upon Jesus
               Look full in His wonderful face
               And the things of earth shall grow strangely dim
               In the light of His glory and grace.

He's been there; He'll be here.

If you’re from the Midland/Odessa area, you may remember this saying as the slogan Houston Copeland Insurance used for many years.  I can recall as a child, thinking what a fitting motto it was for God too. (As if God needs a catchphrase!)  As believers, we all have stories of tough times that God has been faithful to see us through and I’m sure you’d all echo the sentiment that He’ll continue to provide for His children.  So why is it that when we face trials in life, we sometimes find ourselves doubting and wondering how it is ever going to work out?  I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that sometimes my faith wavers and instead of trusting in my Sovereign Lord, I start to question him.

On the radio the other day, I heard an artist talking about her latest song and she said something to this effect: sometimes the best thing we can do when we face difficulties in this life is to look back at what God has already brought us through.  I know in my life, to say that His track record is impressive would be the understatement of the century.  As I began to dwell on this thought, an idea occurred to me.  I should keep a journal in which I track all the ways God comforts me, helps me overcome, and provides for me in my need and so on.  Then when a challenge arises and my faith starts to wane, I can look back and be reminded of his faithfulness, not just to his people in general, but specifically in MY life.

As you might’ve guessed, something happened this week that would be an awesome addition to that journal.  A week ago, I had to take my minivan to the transmission shop.  Knowing how expensive transmission work can be, I was immediately nervous and anxious.  See what I mean, even though God has always provided me with a mode of transportation, I start leaning on my own understanding rather than trusting in my Savior.  As it turned out, the total was under $500 which I happened to have in savings.  (Dave Ramsey would be so proud!)  Yet, instead of thanking God for once again providing for me, I became aggravated that every time I seem to get a little cushion in my savings, something happens and I am forced to deplete my stores.  There I go again – back to square one – oh me of little faith. 

To add to my list of ungratefulness, I also struggled this week with my singleness.  I found myself questioning God and His plan for my future.  I did that thing they say you’re never supposed to do…I compared my life to those around me.  Why are my friends allowed to have relationships and I’m not?  I know, I know…I’m such an unappreciative brat!  But leave it to God to know exactly how to get this brat’s attention.  In the midst of these struggles and doubts, He sent an unexpected surprise my way.  Out of the blue, a person who I will refer to as “Angel” offered to pay my way to a speaker’s conference in North Carolina this summer.  What “Angel” didn’t know is that I had been planning on going to that very conference already, even though I knew it would be expensive.  I was immediately brought to tears - tears of gratitude for this angel’s kindness but mostly tears of awe at my Heavenly Father’s provision.  I recognize how unworthy I am and I can’t deny that the Lord sustains His children in spite of our lack of faith.  What an awesome God we serve!  May I remember this instance of his love and grace the next time I’m tempted to lean on my own understanding or doubt His plan for my life.

Writer's Weekend - Final Installment

Where was I?  Oh, right, at the Plaza Bakery when we last spoke.  When I decided it was time to leave, I couldn't resist taking a stroll around the plaza to see if there was anything I couldn't live without.  As it turns out, it was your typical, New Mexico tourist fare, so I escaped with all my money. 

I headed back to El Paradero to shower and get ready (since I was still in sweaty running clothes) and as I was blow drying my hair, I decided a nap was in order.  I'm not sure that I had really done anything nap-worthy, but apparently my body is on a timer and it knows when it's time for a Sunday afternoon nap.  I slept for about 45 minutes then got up for tea time.  Much to my surprise and pleasure they were serving up round two of the flour-less chocolate cake.  Did I mention it has a ganache icing and is HEAVENLY!  Seriously, I can't stop thinking about it.  I typed a little more as I enjoyed TWO slices of heaven and then decided if I was going to beat the Santa Fe dinner crowd, I'd better get a move on. 

The night before, I arrived at the restaurant at 5:30 to find it already packed with patrons so last night I attempted to make it by 5:00.  Thanks to my complete absence of any sense of direction, I made it to Cowgirl Restaurant at 5:30 and yes, it was already packed.  Fortunately when you're a party of one, it is easy to find a place to sit.  I ordered the crawfish etouffee which was delicious. Here's an Amy Fun Fact for the day: If we're at a restaurant with crawfish etouffee on the menu, you will be hard pressed to see me order anything but that.  It is in my top 5 favorite dishes for sure.  The Cowgirl was having a folksy/blues band that was to play at 8 last night and I so wanted to stay and listen, but around 7:30 I decided I was tired and bored (shoulda brought my laptop) so I headed to the ATM then headed back to my room. 

Once in my PJs, I decided I was too tired to even write.  In fact, I was too tired to do anything but go to bed.  So I did.  I'm a little embarassed to say, I slept for 11 hours last night.  Who knew a writer's weekend could be so exhausting!

So here it is, Monday morning, check out day.  I'm not looking forward to the drive home, but I am glad that I have the week off to do more writing and stuff around the house.  I'm also grateful for the experience I had this weekend.  I learned one thing for sure - I have the utmost admiration for anyone who has ever penned a book - best seller or not.  At this point, I can't say for sure when or if my little project will come together or if it will ever be published, but I'm learning endurance and patience in the process, if nothing else.  I'm also learning a lesson in trust.  Several times throughout this weekend I began to question the point of writing my story at all.  Who wants to read about my life?  Who cares?  It's all pretty mundane in the grand scheme of things, right?  I finally came to the conclusion that this was Satan trying to get me off track.  I may not know much about writing, but I do know that God has placed it on my heart to share my story and that when the God of the Universe places something on your heart, you listen.  Meanwhile, I am going to rest assured that best seller or not, if it can be used to affect even ONE life, then all this time, all this typing, and all this wondering will have been worth it.

Writer's Weekend - Part 2

After freshening up and giving that flour-less chocolate cake some time to digest, I put on my jacket and headed out to find dinner.  Since it was pretty cold yesterday, I had looked online for something close.  A place called Tomasita's was only 2 short blocks away and had great reviews, so I decided to go there. Sadly, even in 2 short blocks I got turned around.  I am nothing if not directionally challenged!  Dinner was good (nothing extraordinary, but decent fare) and the service was great.  The staff was very friendly, as were most of the patrons.  As I waited, I struck up more than one conversation, mostly with other visitors who were here for the hiking, art, shopping and so on.  After my tummy was full, I headed back to my room to continue writing.  I discovered that the WiFi works in parts of the B&B but not my room, so I found a cozy little corner in the library from which to work.  I grabbed another cup of tea and I started typing away.  My eyelids starting getting heavy around 9:30, which seemed a little early, but I figured with the time change it was a good time to crawl in bed. 

This morning I woke up a little before 8, and decided to have a quiet time before breakfast.  The pic below shows what I woke up to...

Gorgeous, no?  As I expected, breakfast was delicious - blueberry pancakes and bacon with fruit and coffee.  Great way to start my day and included with my stay, of course.  After that I grabbed my laptop and purse, dusted the snow from my van and headed to Trader Joe's.  If you're not familiar with Trader Joe's, you need to be.  Since we don't have one in Midland and I know my sister loves it, I stopped to pick up some goodies for her and her family. (And yes, I grabbed a few things for myself.)  Trader Joe's is a specialty grocery store with its own line of organic foods.  As it turned out, Trader Joe's in Santa Fe is right next to a park with a decent trail around it.  I decided this would be the site for my morning jog.  What I didn't count on was the toll the inclines and higher altitude would take on my legs and lungs.  That 30 minutes seemed like an eternity!  And to think, I was supposed to run 4 miles today.  I'll be saving that for Tuesday when I'm back in beautiful, FLAT Midland!

Now I am warming up with coffee and a sandwich at The Plaza Bakery downtown.  I figure I'll write from here for a while then head back to the B&B to shower and see what else Santa Fe has to offer. 

In closing, I'll leave a thought for the day from my quiet time this morning.  In the first book of Timothy, Paul admonishes Timothy  ^6" But godliness with contentment is great gain. ⁷ For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. ⁸ But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."  I was reminded by this verse that not only am I to be content with what I have, but that this world is not MY home and the things of this world are not MY things.  I pray my focus will always be on eternal things and that my perspective will always be a heavenly one.   

That's What They Do In "The Movies"

If you're like me, then you've been guilty of uttering those words at some point in your life.  As adults, most of us recognize that "the movies" and Hollywood are anything but realistic and yet we often find ourselves comparing real life situations to our favorite blockbusters - or at least I do.  Well, according to films, if they can be trusted, every true writer needs a solitary cabin and long weekends away to spark creativity and pen their latest and greatest works.  Bear in mind I'm thinking more Diane Keaton in Something's Gotta Give than James Caan in Misery.  Regardless, I decided if I was going to take this speaking and writing career seriously, then I too, needed a "writer's weekend."  The problem is, I don't have a cabin to escape to, so I had to think outside the box.  After much searching, I decided a bed and breakfast in New Mexico was close enough to a cabin in the mountains, so here I am at El Paradero in Santa Fe.

I arrived at my destination around 2:45 in the afternoon and checked in to my room.  I was informed that afternoon tea and desserts took place from 3:30 to 4:30, so while I waited for the goodies to be served, I decided to jump right in and start writing.  I worked on my testimony (which was really more revising than writing) until 3:30 when I ventured out of my room to check out the dessert selection.  If the friendly service and cozy atmosphere hadn't already sold me on this place, the afternoon lemon squares and chocolate cake certainly would have!  Seriously, this flour-less chocolate cake is SINFUL!  I have no doubts that I will be returning to Midland a few pounds heavier than when I left.  Thankfully I brought my running shoes, so maybe I can cancel out some of these calories.  If only typing were an aerobic workout!

My plans for the evening include dinner at a nearby restaurant - probably the first one I happen upon that looks promising and affordable, then back to my room to start a fire in the wood-burning fireplace and more writing.  I will post more details and pics about my "writer's weekend" tomorrow so stay tuned!

Tough Crowd

After numerous speech and theatre classes in college, I learned the importance of knowing my audience. They say the same is true in writing. Who are you speaking to? That's the million dollar question. I have to ask myself the very same thing as I embark on this journey as a Christian speaker and author. For me the answer is simple and it's stated in my first blog.

       "My prayer...is that God will allow my path to cross with other rebels, misfits, and prodigal
        daughters who simply need to hear that...God is waiting for them with open arms if they will just
        return to Him and heed his calling."

So there you have it. My audience is composed of rebels, misfits and...well, runaways, basically. Tough crowd! Why would anyone purposely target a group of girls and women that the world has labeled as "undesirable"? Simple. I was one.

Not only that, but as I recall my Savior did the same thing during his earthly ministry.  He could usually be found with the tax collectors and sinners. As a CHRISTian, aren't I called to follow his example?

As a man, Christ was able to empathize with our plight. Similarly, as a former misfit and rebel (okay, sometimes not-so-former) I have compassion for my sisters. I've experienced firsthand that longing to belong and that desire to search out what life held for me.  I also remember the indignant cries that "no one's gonna tell me what I can and can't do!"  I was woman, and you likely heard me roar.

As I was considering the drastic change I've undergone, an interesting thought came to me. Many would define a rebel as someone who doesn't go with the status quo and who doesn't allow others to dictate how they think, behave, etc.  And many of those same people would probably agree that Christianity is a lifestyle full of rules and regulations.  Seems like it would never work, right?  Well, you see, that's the thing I'm learning each and every day.  It can work.  It does, in fact.  I'm not sure I can explain exactly how other than to compare it to an earthly relationship.  If you've ever been in love then you understand the difference in doing something because you have to and doing something out of love, respect, admiration and so on.  There's a world of difference.  When you're in love, it's not a task or a rule or a must - it's a want, a desire, a longing.  Christianity isn't a list of do's and don'ts.  It's a relationship with a perfect, holy, Heavenly Father who loves us so much that he sent his son to die so he could be with us for eternity.  A love like that doesn't elicit rebellion and defiance but heartfelt gratitude and a life of service and submission.

I'm trading in my fishin' pole...

I have a long-standing love/hate relationship with online dating.  In fact, it has often been a topic of discussion on other blogs and social networking sites of mine.  Being the eternal optimist that I am, I always seem to hold out hope that Mr. Right will click on my profile...even though my track record is anything but impressive.

Finally, after more than a year of wrestling with the decision, yesterday was the day I said, "I give up."  No, seriously, Plenty Of Fish (the dating site I was using) gave me a list of options for why I was deleting my account and one of them said "I give up."  Needless to say, I chose that one.  Some of you are probably thinking, "Don't give up, Amy.  You'll find that handsome, God-fearing man one of these days.  Hang in there!"  To those readers I would like to say, I'm not giving up on a future marriage or family, I'm simply giving up control.  It has become painfully clear to me that in using dating websites, I have been attempting to control and manipulate my hapiness, my circumstances and my life.  The truth is three-fold.

1. A significant other is not the path to happiness and joy.  The Lord is my joy.
2. My life is not mine to control.  My life belongs to Christ and I submit to HIS control
3. The Lord can and will accomplish His will in my life and does not need to use the internet to do it.

So that's that.  I've traded in my fishing pole for a peace that passes all understanding.  Maybe you've noticed, but it seems like a lot of my posts lately have been about giving up stuff.  I certainly don't want to give the impression that the Christian life is all about doing without and giving everything up.  As the title of this post suggest, it's more about making a trade.  Trading our sorrow for joy, trading our sickness and pain for healing, trading our shame for glory - God's glory!