It's been more than a week since I returned from the Land of She Speaks and I think I'm finally ready to start blogging about it. One reason for my delay was simply to allow time for the "unpacking" process and I don't just mean my suitcase. I needed a little time to let all those nuggets of truth marinate before I was ready to dish. And for the record, I fully anticipate that there will be several helpings of She Speaks "treats" so I hope you'll come back for seconds and thirds! (Is anyone else hungry now?)
When I close my eyes and replay the conference in my mind there are a few scenes that really stand out. I picture Liz Curtis Higgs with her dazzling smile and contagious laugh. I still wonder in amazement at how she was able to make me laugh so hard my sides hurt (just think about the "Big Buts of the Bible") and then cry like a baby mere seconds later as she gave a brief glimpse of her testimony. I still tear up at her words as she described "Man after man after man after man... I just wanted to be loved. I didn't realize I already was."
I'm also struck with a vision of the brave and talented ladies that I was privileged and humbled to meet. Ladies who survived tornadoes, infidelity or raising a grandchild. Women who have faced the loss of loved ones and overcome drugs, cutting or breast cancer. Then there was the one who is currently fighting for her life with the kind of grace I can only pray for.
Additionally, I keep coming back to the story Lysa told about the "shark" attack and the stern words of her instructor. "Keep your eyes on the Dive Master. If the Master isn't freaking out then you shouldn't freak out!"
And who could forget Whitney's challenge to put on the whole armor of God and be a "turtle shell" for our sisters who have dropped their shield of faith?
BUT...
The biggest lesson for me that weekend wasn't from a keynote speaker or a breakout session. It wasn't even from one of my new found friends or a publisher. The most important truth I took away came Friday night as I sat alone in my hotel room.
If I had to give this "one-person breakout session" a title, I would call it "She Speaks...Unprepared."
You see, I had been under the false impression that for our speaker evaluation group we only needed one, 3-minute speech prepared. And that's what I came with. The truth was, we were asked to come ready to give a second, 5-minute speech on Saturday.
I missed that memo. Clearly.
I explained to my evaluation group something that those who've known me a while are already very familiar with...
I HATE to be unprepared.
I don't do improv and I don't handle the stress of last-minute planning very well either. This was basically my worst nightmare come true. But I didn't see that I had much of a choice, so I sat on that hotel bed Friday night frantically trying to put a talk together.
It was late and I was tired. Needless to say, the ideas weren't flowing. In fact, after a few vetoed openers, I finally cried out to God and said, "God, I need an idea, like NOW! This is an emergency!"
That's when it dawned on me...God doesn't have emergencies. The sovereign Lord of the universe doesn't get caught off guard. In fact, He knew all along that I was expected to give this speech and he knew all along that I wasn't going to be prepared for it.
*Cue lightbulb over head*
Maybe - just maybe - this was all part of the plan. Maybe my ignorance was necessary for God to get his point across. Maybe God needed to get me out of the way so he could bring the message that HE wanted to bring, not the message that I would have so carefully planned and prepped for.
Maybe God needed to get me out of the way?
That thought was a crushing blow to my soul. How many times have I "gotten in God's way" with my good intentions and my list-making and my planning and my obsessing?
How many times had I failed to realize - IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!?
That's when God brought a familiar passage to my mind. In Job chapter 38 we read those famous words, "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?"
As I read the verses I'd seen so many times before, they became personal. "Amy, have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place?" And like Job, I was forced to reply, "Behold, I am of small account; What shall I answer you?"
I am of small account.
THAT was my biggest take-away from She Speaks and the challenge that I presented to my evaluation group the following day. As I follow the Lord's calling to speak and write, my biggest prayer is that I would never get in God's way and that I will always remember...
It's not about me.
When I close my eyes and replay the conference in my mind there are a few scenes that really stand out. I picture Liz Curtis Higgs with her dazzling smile and contagious laugh. I still wonder in amazement at how she was able to make me laugh so hard my sides hurt (just think about the "Big Buts of the Bible") and then cry like a baby mere seconds later as she gave a brief glimpse of her testimony. I still tear up at her words as she described "Man after man after man after man... I just wanted to be loved. I didn't realize I already was."
I'm also struck with a vision of the brave and talented ladies that I was privileged and humbled to meet. Ladies who survived tornadoes, infidelity or raising a grandchild. Women who have faced the loss of loved ones and overcome drugs, cutting or breast cancer. Then there was the one who is currently fighting for her life with the kind of grace I can only pray for.
Additionally, I keep coming back to the story Lysa told about the "shark" attack and the stern words of her instructor. "Keep your eyes on the Dive Master. If the Master isn't freaking out then you shouldn't freak out!"
And who could forget Whitney's challenge to put on the whole armor of God and be a "turtle shell" for our sisters who have dropped their shield of faith?
BUT...
The biggest lesson for me that weekend wasn't from a keynote speaker or a breakout session. It wasn't even from one of my new found friends or a publisher. The most important truth I took away came Friday night as I sat alone in my hotel room.
If I had to give this "one-person breakout session" a title, I would call it "She Speaks...Unprepared."
You see, I had been under the false impression that for our speaker evaluation group we only needed one, 3-minute speech prepared. And that's what I came with. The truth was, we were asked to come ready to give a second, 5-minute speech on Saturday.
I missed that memo. Clearly.
I explained to my evaluation group something that those who've known me a while are already very familiar with...
I HATE to be unprepared.
I don't do improv and I don't handle the stress of last-minute planning very well either. This was basically my worst nightmare come true. But I didn't see that I had much of a choice, so I sat on that hotel bed Friday night frantically trying to put a talk together.
It was late and I was tired. Needless to say, the ideas weren't flowing. In fact, after a few vetoed openers, I finally cried out to God and said, "God, I need an idea, like NOW! This is an emergency!"
That's when it dawned on me...God doesn't have emergencies. The sovereign Lord of the universe doesn't get caught off guard. In fact, He knew all along that I was expected to give this speech and he knew all along that I wasn't going to be prepared for it.
*Cue lightbulb over head*
Maybe - just maybe - this was all part of the plan. Maybe my ignorance was necessary for God to get his point across. Maybe God needed to get me out of the way so he could bring the message that HE wanted to bring, not the message that I would have so carefully planned and prepped for.
Maybe God needed to get me out of the way?
That thought was a crushing blow to my soul. How many times have I "gotten in God's way" with my good intentions and my list-making and my planning and my obsessing?
How many times had I failed to realize - IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!?
That's when God brought a familiar passage to my mind. In Job chapter 38 we read those famous words, "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?"
As I read the verses I'd seen so many times before, they became personal. "Amy, have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place?" And like Job, I was forced to reply, "Behold, I am of small account; What shall I answer you?"
I am of small account.
THAT was my biggest take-away from She Speaks and the challenge that I presented to my evaluation group the following day. As I follow the Lord's calling to speak and write, my biggest prayer is that I would never get in God's way and that I will always remember...
It's not about me.
