As Promised...

Okay, one more disclaimer then I'll turn you loose on the first few paragraphs of Rebel Reborn.  As I post tidbits from my work, I want everyone to understand that in no way am I attempting to glorify the years I spent away from the Lord.  In fact, I'm aiming to do the opposite.  My prayer is that through my transparency the Lord will be lifted up and His amazing transforming power made known.  That being said, here's the first installment...

Chapter 1: Rebel Checklist

”In the midnight hour she cried ‘more, more, more’

With a rebel yell ‘more, more, more”

Billy Idol, Rebel Yell

Let Me Introduce Myself

I’ve heard countless speeches, sermons and the like that open with, “Webster defines (fill in appropriate topic here) as…”  Sure, it’s an effective way to get your listeners on the same page and as far as openers go, it’s not the worst in the world, but I have no doubt that any Public Speaking 101 prof would tell you that it’s a tad overused and to pursue something more attention-grabbing.

Having said that, dictionary.com defines rebel as a person who resists any authority, control or tradition. 

What can I say?  I’m a rebel at heart.  Telling me not to do something is a sure-fire way to get it done.  (I can see the reverse psychology wheels turning as I type.)

Also, for the younger ones in my audience, I decided to define the word rebel in urban dictionary terms.  In summary, being a rebel means being an individual, not following the crowd and not conforming to what others prefer.

I haven’t always considered myself a rebel.  In fact, until my early twenties, I was the exact opposite.  I was a 100%, pure bread conformist.  I followed the rules and I probably judged those who didn’t.  I was a girl scout when it came to my church attendance and involvement.  I was also your classic overachiever in high school.  I made straight A’s and was salutatorian of my graduating class. Then after high school, I attended Christian University and spent 8 months in Thailand teaching English and working as a missionary.

But somewhere around 22 or 23, everything changed and for the bulk of my twenties, I was off-the-charts on any rebel checklist.  I’ve never actually seen a “rebel checklist” before but I imagine them to look something like this:

o   Tattoos

o   Piercings other than one in each ear

o   Non-traditionally colored hair and fingernails

o   Posing for pictures with inappropriate hand gestures

o   Dating “bad” boys (they give you street cred)

o   Frequent enjoyment of the “party” lifestyle, particularly those things that have been deemed by the authorities as illegal

o   A distaste for (or downright hatred of) authority

o   Doing something based solely on the fact that your mother doesn’t want you to

o   A refusal to do something based solely on the fact that your mother does want you to

Let’s see…

Tattoos? Check. I have four of them and wouldn’t mind having more, much to my parent’s and grandparent’s chagrin.

Piercings other than one in each ear? Check.  Well, not anymore actually, but I had my nose pierced in college.  In true rebel form, I took it out when I decided that nose rings had become too popular and mine didn’t make me stand out anymore.

Non-traditionally colored hair and fingernails? Check. That is assuming that purple is not a traditional hair color.

Posing for pictures with inappropriate hand gestures? No check on this one – but pictures of me with a drink in my hand (of which there were many) were the equivalent of me “sticking it to the man.”

Dating bad boys? Check.  And for good measure, I dated losers, potheads and atheists too.

Frequent enjoyment of the party lifestyle and illegal activities? Check times infinity.

A distaste for authority? Check. Most notably here was my attempt to run away from the ultimate authority, God.

Doing something my mother doesn’t want me to? Check.  See bullet points one and two. (and four, five, six and seven.)

Not doing something my mother does want me to? Check.  You get the picture.

Hi, my name is Amy and I’m a rebel.

The one commonality from my teens to my twenties was that whatever I did, I didn’t dare go about it half-heartedly.  I’m a passionate, all-or-nothing personality and that was true whether I was studying for finals, preparing to teach a Bible Study or hitting up the local club. 

Rebel Reborn

I realized the other day how long it's been since I posted something to this blog so I decided an update was in order.  Now if I can just figure out where to begin!

First of all - the reason for my absence.  Let me put it this way - if life is the express lane at the grocery store, I was one item over the limit.  Something had to give and clearly it was this blog.  It didn't help that in my busyness I decided to add one more blog to the mix.  For those who aren't aware, I'm now doing a video blog that focuses solely on my weight loss journey.  So far I'm down 2 pounds and learning so much along the way.  Please join me or at least chart my progress through the blog.  The accountability has proven to be a huge help!

Secondly, I'm quite excited to share news on the writing and speaking front.  Most of you know that I've recently decided to pursue a career as a Christian author and speaker and I've even blogged about my recent article submission and upcoming conference.  After having lunch the other day with my dear friend, Beverly, I decided to add "write a book" to my list of things to do.  I was inspired with a book idea after we met and I've been furiously trying to get my ideas onto paper so I can begin to develop a manuscript.  I also e-mailed Sheila, my SheSpeaks Conference contact, and asked her about the possibility of meeting with a publisher to discuss my proposal.  She said she will put me on a waiting list to meet with a publisher so I figure if God wants it to be, then it will happen!

That brings me to my third and final item.  I decided to post a snippet of what I've written so far (speaking of my manuscript) on this blog, but I think an explanation is in order first.  I feel certain that most of my readers know my story - or at least parts of it - but I wanted to make sure everyone is on the same page.  As I begin to write more, especially about what I refer to as my "wild days", I don't want to catch anyone off guard.  So here's my life in a nutshell:

I grew up in a Christian home and asked Christ into my heart at the age of 12.  At the age of 16 I dedicated my life to His service.  Somewhere around 22 or 23, I began living in a manner opposite of how I'd been raised and what I believed.  This I often refer to as "my rebellion."  This lasted approximately six or seven years.  Now I am "back on the straight and narrow" as they say and watching in wonder as God uses my testimony to witness to others that have gone astray. 

Having said all that, stay tuned for an excerpt from my soon-to-be book, Rebel Reborn (working title)...

I'm Not Complete Until I Meet...

*****I wrote the following with the intent of submitting it to a few Christian magazines.  Feedback is more than welcomed!*****

I know this girl; we’ll call her Eve.  Eve’s entire life revolves around her relationship status.  When she’s not in one, she’s depressed and moody and can’t think about anything else but finding a man.  But when Eve finds that special someone, she’s a completely different animal.  No more depression, she’s happy and fun to be around – when I can pry her away from her “perfect” beau, that is.   

What’s that you say?  You know Eve too?!

Chances are you probably do know Eve because Eve isn’t a real person and that wasn’t an actual story.  Eve is representative of so many women and girls I know.  (And even a few guys.)  I have a feeling you know the type as well.  They’re practically beside themselves with glee when they get to update their Facebook status with “…in a relationship…” but watch out if Mr. or Mrs. Right breaks their heart because the next several updates will all be about what a sorry so and so they are.

However, I should digress because the point of this article is not to gripe about people airing their dirty laundry on Facebook.  It’s also not meant to be the tirade of some jaded and bitter single woman.  The truth is I’ve been an Eve once or twice in my life.  In reality, this article is a warning to single men and women everywhere about the infamous relationship trap or, as I like to call it, the “I’m not complete until I meet…” deception.

So many single people (Christian or not) operate like I used to.  They feel as though they are just buying time until they find that one, fulfilling relationship and then life can really begin.  I’ve even heard married people refer to life before their spouse in such as way as to suggest it didn’t count.  “But that’s before I was married.”  Like single life is some cheap knock off of the real deal!  If that describes you and you’re currently single, I have a newsflash: This is as real as it gets!  1 Corinthians chapter 7 serves as proof.  After instructing married and unmarried men and women in verses 1-16, verse 17 says, “Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.”  (emphasis mine).  Notice it doesn’t say, “…but if you’re unmarried, wait for the Lord to give you a spouse so you can start really living your life for Him.”  In fact, if you continue reading the chapter, Paul seems to be saying that staying single is the better option because one’s primary concern is the Lord’s work rather than his or her spouse and household.

So whether we are single and loving it or single and ready to mingle, we are to be living the life God has called us to, not counting down the days until we tie that proverbial knot.  But what about those desires God has placed in us to mate?  It’s only natural, right?  Especially for us women – we were made from man’s rib and intended to be his helpmeet.  It’s understandable that we would feel incomplete without a husband, no?

This is one of those questions that I used to avoid like the plague.  Mostly because I had asked God that very thing and never quite felt like I had a grasp on the answer.  There’s no denying why the female gender was created but then the verse in 1 Corinthians would pop into my head again and I wound up completely confused.  So what IS the answer?  As a high school teacher, I find myself drawing a lot of parallels and using analogies when I teach, so I decided to apply that technique to this conundrum. 

Pretend with me, if you will, that I’ve just invented a contraption known as the tennis shoe. (Just so we’re clear, I’m not claiming to have invented the tennis shoe, I’m merely using this pretend scenario to make a point.)  I’m quite proud of this new invention and know that it will serve my purposes well.  After a few days of wearing my new invention, I decide that they could use a little help.  You see, although they make walking, running and jumping much more enjoyable, they also make my feet sweat and sometimes they even rub blisters on my heels.  Never fear!  I will simply invent a soft piece of fabric to put over my foot before putting on my shoes and I’ll name that invention the sock.  Yes, socks will work nicely with my tennis shoes and together they will allow me the luxury of walking, running and jumping, blister and sweat-free.

Okay, so maybe it doesn’t parallel perfectly but hopefully this silly comparison makes a point.  The question that remains is this – since the sock was made specifically to go with the tennis shoe, does that mean it serves no purpose on its own?  Well, I don’t know about you, but I can often be found wearing socks without shoes.  They do a wonderful job of keeping my feet warm during the winter and I much prefer the feel of their soft fabric over hard wood, cold tile or dirty concrete. (That’s right dad, I still wear my WHITE socks outside!)  And just so the tennis shoes (men) don’t feel left out, they are still very helpful inventions even without the socks!

Okay, so single is good and men and women don’t have to feel like some underutilized creation just because they’re not married but I can sense that some of you are still stuck on this idea of being incomplete like the missing piece of a matched set.  Well, I’m no psychic but I am a 32-year old single woman and after all this time, I’ve finally figured out why we struggle so.

 We are incomplete.  In fact, all humans are. 

We were made by a Holy God who longs to have a relationship with us and so fulfill us.  The problem is, many of us, even those who have given their lives to Christ, continue to seek out fulfillment via other means…often times the opposite sex.  THIS is what has been playing over and over in my mind as I watch all the Eves in my life looking for “the one” who will satisfy their longings.  It’s as if I’m privy to top secret information that I’m just dying to pass along.  “Pssst! Hey you – yeah, you, Eve.  He won’t be able to meet ALL your needs.  You’re still going feel incomplete unless you fill that God-shaped hole with the one and only God of the universe.”

I mentioned before how I’ve exhibited Eve-esque behavior myself from time to time.  The truth is I always knew that no man could ever complete me, but it didn’t stop me from giving it the old, college try. (Literally.  Most of my dating mistakes took place in college.)  I think the reason for denying what I knew to be real stemmed from one simple fact.  This knowledge needed to make its way from my head to my heart.  The only way this doubting Thomas could believe was to experience God’s fulfillment first-hand.  I’m happy to say that after 32 years, several ex-boyfriends and a few relationship status updates, I’m still single yet completely complete.  In fact, I’m fulfilled to the point of overflowing.  I’d like to tell others how they can be complete too. 

“Pssst! Hey you – yeah, you, Eve.  You’re not complete until you meet…Jesus.”

Where's Your Junk Drawer?

If you have a junk drawer somewhere in your house or maybe your place of employment...I'm impressed!  Why impressed, you ask?  I'm impressed that you, unlike me, are able to keep the clutter in your life limited to such a small space.  It is common knowledge among my friends and family that I don't have a junk drawer - I have a junk van.  That's right.  A drawer will not contain my "messy" side so I use my minivan instead.  I was sharing just the other day that I FINALLY cleaned it out and took it to the car wash.  I'm ashamed to say that I had Halloween decorations in the back of my vehicle.  That's how long it had been since my last van-cleaning.

As I've said before, parallels can often be drawn from our physical life to our spiritual one.  This morning in my devotions, God used a couple of different sources to remind me that my van is not the only place where litter gathers.  My mind can also be used as a junk collector if I'm not careful.  As I was contemplating I Peter 5:8 which says, "be alert and of sober mind", I started thinking about the things in my life that work against that objective.  I asked God to reveal anything that might be cluttering up my mind and preventing me from living the life He has called me to live.

His answer was prompt.  One obvious source of this "junk" is that little contraption my mom used to call the "boob tube".  Although I don't watch as much TV as some, I have gotten into a bad habit of ending each day with one of my few DVRed shows.  The problem is that these are not uplifting, God-honoring programs.  It is hard for me to admit that these shows have a way of entering my psyche and working against many of the principles found in God's Word.  Satan uses these various episodes to undermine the truth I should be clinging to and before I even realize it, I'm believing a lie.

It isn't easy but I've accepted that it is time for me to clean out the residue left from these shows.  As I told my sister (and accountability partner) my immediate plan is to cut out ALL television for 7 weeks.  My prayer is that at the end of those 7 weeks, I will have learned how to live without this unhealthy diversion.  Instead of allowing it to numb me at the end of the work day, I plan to be more productive and active.  Who knows, maybe I will not only de-clutter my mind, but strengthen some of my relationships and even lose some weight in the process! (Eating and TV-watching go hand in hand, you know.)

My challenge to my readers is this - ask God what is creating clutter in your spiritual walk and what you can do to clean it out so that together we can live like God calls us to in I Peter.  And don't forget the importance of accountability.  I grant anyone reading this permission to ask me about my TV watching and if you'd like accountability in return, I'll be happy to give it.  Together we can do it!